TWO DAYS OF SHOOT....

When I was in my second year of degree, our college decided to host an event which intended to converse on the influx of population in Mumbai. Guys….Stay Put!!!! “Don’t abscond please…..Listen to me…I am not here to give any complimentary GYAAN.”

Ok…I came to know about this and was very fanatical to link the team since I wanted to get the feel of the shoot. College had prearranged a “Camera Man” who was from Film Institute of India (FTI) and known to be one of the best and accompanied by a lady who scripted the entire documentary. With them I and my ‘female’ friend joined to help them during the 2 day shoot in adjusting tripod to fit the Camera and to sprint whilst he asks for whatever thing.

DAY ONE:

At around 6 am in the morning I and my friend waited for the Lady and Camera Man to come, finally after 35 minutes man filled with fur on his facade came itching with his full-size handbag. I leisurely whispered to my companion “It seems he is leaving the town” She said “it was a bad joke” and I admitted it too...When he came we asked him “What Happened?” He said “It was a bad night and I could not sleep b’coz of bugs lynching on my massive body”. I burst out to laughter and asked him where he was placed and came to know he was kept in an ashram near to our college which was just in the rear of the prime gutter of our town. I made him understand that in Rs 100 College could not have arranged for better lodging for him. He was uptight and resolute to shift to some superior cottage. But in the meantime “Script Writer” also joined us and added to our cluster debate and it went on. Then suddenly the “VICHITRA PRAANI – The Camera Man” asked the driver to halt the vehicle and he got down at the Thane Highway where vehicles were whizzing but being a first timer I watched very closely as he adjusted the Camera in middle of the road as if his father owned the road.

At around 7.30 am me and my companion feeling sleepy as we were not used to getting up early even for our lectures. Then suddenly my friend started giggling and I was clueless and asked her “Kya Hua??” she pointed her fingers to Camera Man’s hanging jeans. He was wearing a “Low Rise” Jeans with no inner wear and his Chubby Buttocks was peeping out. I also smiled but least engrossed I told her please don’t show me any terrible sights early in the dawn. Finally, he finished and got inside the vehicle and we were told that we would be interviewing Mr L H Hiranandani (father of Real Estate Tycoon Niranjan Hiranandani).We were damn excited to meet him and finally we did ask him questions and at the end of the interview he hugged us saying “You are like my Grand Children”. I wished if I was really his “GRAND CHILD”:(. Then we proceeded to Mantra lay then to Vice Chancellor of University ultimately halted to have quick munch.

We understood that shooting is not easy and with that “CLOWN” it is by no means trouble-free. While we were returning I and my Friend discussing about, movie VEER ZAARA that how dreary it was and about its droll song inside the court. We forgot we have connoisseur glued inside the sedan who liked Veer Zaara and treasured the Camera Angles and all those bull shit. I was yawning and by 8.00 we reached back home. We exhale the moan of respite. I to conclude admitted my blunder of having adjoined them for dreadful shoot.

DAY TWO:

Scene of our college – “Front Angle” to reflect the populace of our College. I was inclined down holding the tripod plunk and cursing the Mad- Ass who was shooting. But unlike me he liked the vista and he was foretelling the scene as in how it will look like. Many of my folks from top of College Building looking at me and laughing and I was literally getting frantic on the kind of commotion I was burdening. Then we went to Chemistry Lab, where students were developing their ‘Chemistry’ with opposite sex. There, I was asked to hold the big white colored board to shoo-away reflection of brightness. The shot was taken in different angle and I was asked to hold it Up and down, Left and right (felt like hammering it on Camera Man’s skull),I was feeling the pain on my body as that MASTER could not get the right F*****G Angle, told him the pain and asked to wind up finally. He smiled but his teeth were uglier than me.

We then proceed to ‘Geography Dept’ where I was clueless about the happening out there - photos of greenery, Dusty Books with repulsive looking lads. He still took the cinema and went on doing it. And Climax of the shoot was excruciating; he wanted to shoot “White Bird’ at 12 noon in order to represent “Migration’ which was the topic for the event... I told him we might have to go out of the college premises to do it. We then encroached the restricted area of ‘Ordnance Factory – Premises’ with tripod and Camera but fortunately escaped the guards. The "Cartoon" shot the “White Bird” by rolling the camera on 4 feet ground with brainless smile on his face. I told him ‘Don’t Smile, if guard sees you they will take your teeth off’. And that was the end of eventful shoot where I left my home to become a STAR but ended becoming a SPOT BOY.

At last the Camera Man walked away with Rs 50000 for his foolhardy demonstration in two days of shoot. Our script writer lady gave adieu to him by yearning him to see in Bollywood Award Functions. I said in mind, and then they will have to come out with some different nomination category; something like ‘BEST BUFFOON of the industry”.

Anyways, I was excited to see the film which was shown to all the contestants and bigwigs. The first scene in that film was of “Crow” I was gob smacked and wondered where was the “White Bird”. Then kept on waiting to see the shot of Chemistry Lab where I lost my chemistry with my soul, it was also missing. Then suddenly film ended with name scroll appearing where my name was mentioned as Shoot Co-Ordintor -‘Shrijeesh Nayyar”.AND I was wrecked…

Grief of my Life ......

I was perturbed, unaided and jaded that’s when I decide to spend some time in creating a blog and to eat my head out. As many would know, what I am doing is not my cup of tea but drawing inspirations from many bloggers across the country, who seems to have identified novel way of comforting their wits. But I am very buoyant about my writing skills.

Whenever I used to write essays during my school days teachers would heat my rear side with one foot long stick (as my back wasn’t that immense), they tried rigidly to rupture my fingers so that I would never commit such crimes in future. Moreover many of my friends did the same, who hit me and made me bleed nevertheless I could not figure out why people were reacting that way and why they were stopping my successful spree towards distinction. I was dejected with tears in my eyes and that’s when I realized people are envious of me, they wanted my blood because thoughts and skills were in my blood. Also I realized that teachers never intended to hurt my back, they were caressing it as I was a cute kid in my school days.

Probably due to my lettering skills I was never been able to woo beautiful chicks. My ex-girl friend dumped me when for the first time I gave her my honest opinion from bottom of my heart via multi-colored letter which described about her Copper Wire like curly hair, Pumpkin like face, horse like leg, Elephant like @##$ and she came running I raised my hand to get a peck but she brutal horse kicked me 5 inches below my belt. I stood embarrassingly steady with my round face. I am tired of people; they don’t have admiration for person like me.

One man is sitting above all of us…..don’t look up you grimy girls... I am referring to GOD!!! He will take revenge for me. Oh Lord! Can’t you see this? Please help me ……..

After spending 3 hours in café I can’t splurge more. Adios (HAPPY???)